A friend of mine recently told me she has trouble saying no when friends ask her to hang out… even if she’s had a long day at work and all she wants to do is chill out with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and a good movie.

I asked her why she thinks that is when I didn’t even have to. I’ve been there, too, and the answer is simple: saying no is hard!

Whether it’s a hangout or an errand you just don’t have the time or energy for, saying yes can sometimes feel “easier” than going with the answer you really mean. But the cost is higher in the long run when we keep saying “yes” when we really mean “no”. 

So here’s what we gotta do: learn to say no, and to feel empowered by it… not guilty.

“It’s not you, it’s FOR me”

You know the classic cheesy movie breakup line, “it’s not you, it’s me”? By adding one word and making it “it’s not you, it’s for me,” we actually get the sentiment behind why saying no is completely necessary and understandable. 

When you say no to someone, it’s nothing against them. It doesn’t mean you don’t care about them, don’t want to help them, spend time with them, or whatever the case may be. All it means is that whatever they’re asking of you does not align with your current needs.

And you know what? That’s okay. 

Set boundaries for yourself and make those boundaries clear. It can be difficult to get used to communicating these things, but you’ll be so, so glad you did.

Learn Also to Say No to Your Own Negative Habits

Think about the things you do each day that doesn’t add value to your daily life or that set you backwards. Whether it’s scrolling social media or constantly checking your email, make a list of things you can cut out and say no to.

When you’re clear on what these habits are, it’ll be easy to cut them out and free up time for doing things that’ll propel you forward in your goals rather than set you back!

At the end of the day…

Creating healthier habits and setting boundaries for yourself takes time and patience. Getting clear on the things you LOVE doing and saying yes to more of those things will set you up for success.